just like anyone else we were shocked given i was on bc & for me abortion/adoption was just out of the question . And the internet is this perfect little anonymous bubble for people to shoot off their anger. The LW said that he is furious that shes keeping the baby. And a grown adult man is well aware of this system when he chooses to have sex. and its also appalling that he would order a woman to abort. Find someone without baggage. You deserve better. Its called lying. I mean, I know guys are suppose to stick up for guys, but come on.. OH MY GOD!! That way you will know things like what you both agree to do if she gets preggers, and how soon you jettison him if he goes and has sex with someone else ad knocks her up. If someone ahead of you slams on their brakes because they want to read a billboard and you hit them, Id guess youd be not be upset, because its your fault and youre aware that cars ahead of you can stop at any point. Im not saying it doesnt happen, but I find it hard to believe that people who dont take care dont get pregnant and every unwanted pregnancy is always the product of birth control failure. 1 mth after we got together, he cheated and got a girl pregnant. They probably hang out for a few weeks more, she kind of gets on his nerves for whatever reason and starts to bug the shit out of him. Im not questioning the reality of the situation Im questioning the inherent fairness of the law today. Termination of Parental rights does NOT absolve you from paying Child Support in the United States of America. April 9, 2012, 6:25 pm, Jesus fucking christ! Both agreed to cut him out entirely, up to and including child support, so that he was free of any obligation. We decided to get back together as we cant bear life without each other. Ill never understand the chicks who want to blame/curse/fight the other woman like the dude has no part in the whole mess. thus why I said troll label aside. He didnt expose her to STDs. I have a feeling you are going to stay with this guy no matter what (since you would just diiiie without him). Heartbroken People Share Ludicrous Ways They've Been Dumped Consider paring them down a bit. Just reduces the chances. hamster van beethoven The fact that he doesnt means hes no good for either of you. A forty year old man should know that once is all it takes to handcuff himselfto someone for the next 19 years or so. honeybeenicki Sex makes babies and every time you have sex you run the risk of making a baby. Move forward with your life. I would MUCH rather this guy walk away now then be stuck with a screaming baby he doesnt care for and end up throwing it off a bridge. April 9, 2012, 10:00 pm, No, I actually think that of us effectively use condoms Most of the dumb idiots I know that knocked girls up all thought they were safe because they were told all was well, Im on the pill PS. Seriously, that is your interpretation of the male thought process? April 10, 2012, 5:30 pm. How about getting to know one another really well before having sex? Jess of CGW landygirl Im really astounded that you would say something so flippant like women can get support for 20+ years, as if its nothing! In my opinion, a deadbeat leaves his child, abandons the mother, and offers no financial support. I just think its extremely scumbag-ish to want nothing to do with your child, no matter how it was conceived. His character and judgment are awful. They can either hope the woman opts to not keep the baby, or they pay. I dont think a woman should ever have to have an abortion, but if the father decides early on that he doesnt want the child, I think he should have the same rights to get out of it as the woman does. Blood is not everything. I have no doubt theyll be happy, healthy, and well-adjusted with a mom so loving as you! Already Tired of the Baby Malarky. This guy isnt worth anyones time. But let me make a few suggestions Steve. Fair or not, the facts are what they are. He willingly engaged in sex (apparently without a condom) with a woman he knew for two minutes. Other times, breakups are not so obvious, and that can leave you questioning your decision. First, if you cant live without someone, why did you need a break? I mean, for starters, if I even had one unplanned baby while on the pill, Id probably not continue to use it. she should bear full responsibility for child care, because it is a decision she has made. Is that pretty much it? But it is a dickish move to get someone pregnant and then decide youre not going to be involved in that childs life. Also, HUGE RED FLAG. Not your wallet, not your choice. April 10, 2012, 5:49 pm. But then again the child might be better off without such an jerk as a role model. The key if you do decide to engage- keep it as civil and reasoned as possible. The man should have no say on whether or not she keeps the baby but she should have a LOT of say over his finances for the next 18 years. Thank God for the real men. It hurts me that he will have to go through his first child experience with someone else while I watch. Let me show you another scenario (that Im ad-libbing from GirlWritesWhat) following that logic: A woman is severely allergic to peanuts. Abortion does away with a potential baby- a life that will grow into a child if it continues to grow over the next several months-, and the other is walking out on an actual human being. I cant help but think just as she has a choice to abort, keep or put up for adoption, he too has a choice and while not admirable, it may be for the best. Well, they dont entirely disregard fairness to the mother and/or father, but the childs interests take precedent. So, you go back to where you started, and then he hits you with another bombshell. It is never the unborn childs fault. He could be the a killer robot. He let you go. Has your childs father left you during pregnancy then came back? Sometimes the reasons are clear, such as frequent arguments, lack of interest, and abuse. As for you LW, Im not even sure exactly what youre asking. 2.6K views, 5 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 44 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Wildheart: **Miracle Baby Or Mistaken Baby- Man Denies Having Baby With Wife (Full Episode) - Paternity Court **. Stop this back and forth with him. Youre right Leroy- the really crazy, dramatic ones are the minority and I tend to ignore them as well. evanscr05 Welp, he didnt run after you, and instead he ran to another woman for comfort and now she is pregnant. You seem to have completely missed the point that virtually anything we do involves risk, and that doing those things doesnt mean were prepared for any possible consequence at any time. I dont think hes scum based on this either. Relax. And if your original point was that gay men are smart enough to use condoms but that heterosexual couples seem too dumb to do so, that 1M number implies youre wrong. Its still good advice if the letter his fake, actually, since there certainly are people in this situation. It doesnt involve any weird semi-involvement; but rather a clean break for the child and a chance to build a happy, loving life with a set of great parents. It doesnt matter how nicely you do it. She Left Me.PRANK WARS - BF VS GFWatch until. Until thats legally extended as you propose any man who doesnt exercise that option has no one to blame but himself when he becomes a parent. She takes her pill every day at the same time. reader, TELLULAH+, writes (25 January 2008): A Im lucky that it has worked well for me and Im still childless, especially given the recent breakup and all. However, RR, Ill assume that every time youve ever had sex, it has been with someone you wanted in your like as a co-parent and that it was at a time in your life that a child would have been welcomed. Its fucking unfair. Your body, your choice; however, your choice, your problem. BC. I gave him a green flag to make his decision and let him off the hook for any and all care and support, so long as such decision was irrevocable. Your welcome. According to DeCrow, he shouldnt even have to pay child support, because thats fundamentally unfair. You experience a myriad of emotions, and sometimes, you feel guilty or even blame yourself for why the relationship ended.This is all the more reason why it feels like a big fat kick in the teeth to discover that your ex is an overlapper: s(he'd . Mistakes That Can Make a Breakup Worse and What to Do Instead - Insider What should I do, View related questions: I havent, and even though I am 110% pro-choice, Im not sure if its something I could actually do. Coke doesnt have to visit you in the hospital and make sure youre happy. reader, Junebug2589+, writes (22 November 2008): A Now hes going to have to deal with it, even if he wants nothing to do with the childhis wallet will. I recommend you seek individual therapy and process your feelings. If a guy *does not* want to be a father, he shouldnt be having sex with women unless he knows, for sure, they have a similar attitude when it comes unintended pregnancy.. If there is no child at conception Obviously, NEITHER man is responsible for the child the woman wanted it, she grew it. He ejaculates thats it. Sure. April 9, 2012, 4:23 pm. I dont think the actual equality is as you think it is, but even if I agree that it is, it has nothing to do with what happens early on in a pregnancy. Lucky us. Leaving the issues of the suggested abortion and unprotected sex aside (which have also been beaten over the head on this thread), that was what really struck me as I was looking through these comments. You should be furious with him and dump his ass! bittergaymark Forcing him to stay with her isnt going to make anyone happy at all. Here is the truth: After a break up you create a hierarchy. That line of reasoning is fine but condescending only for those who never in their entire lives have ever done anything that might have resulted in something unexpected (and unwanted) happening. The fact that all this happened doesnt mean hes some despicable jackass. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? But, in reality it takes two to have sexual intercourse and two people to make a baby. My Boyfriend Got Another Woman Pregnant & It Changed My Views On Parenthood. No. Like most men are running around handing out free money to them without them having to fight for it. But, you allowed him to call and you were hoping he had changed. I do think that in their blind rage, some of the commenters have backed themselves into the position that men become the property of any woman they sleep with, as well as their exs. Thats fd. And no it shouldnt be just the womans responsibility that the bf just met if she decides to not have an abortion or give the child up for adoption. April 9, 2012, 7:25 pm, I agree. Sure, lots of people take those chances. The decision to have sex is NOT a decision to have a child. Overlappers: They start a new relationship before breaking up with you We broke up for 8 hours 2 months in and he met another girl within those 8 hours. My boyfriend and I split up for two months. honeybeenicki Im perfectly happy to share my experience with you! So, youre wondering what is it about her that he is willing to commit himself and give his all to her. Do you want a man who doesnt want to be in a childs life because it means being with you? I get what youre saying. i am currently in an awful situation. Of course it is, but we have no way of knowing that the other woman was lying about that. April 9, 2012, 1:05 pm. The last 15 girlfriend jokes It's bro's before hoes, not bro's over your girlfriend. February 6, 2017, 4:03 pm, Simalar to me.. we fell inlove from schol at 15 we kiss at 16 sex at 21 we separated for 5mths he saw another girl and she lie told him she was pregnant..she moved in his parents house..i said goodbye he came begging me ..he dont love her.tears tears .. the next month her period came her lie came in the openshe never left ..i have since moved on ..25yrs to dated he still beging me to come backi played a game with him recently ..i said i would leave my husband would u leave your wifeto be with mehe said yes yesdo u have money to buy a house for me like what u did for her.the silence was deafing.i hang up the phone.. playersmove on leave him alone, lets_be_honest Is it fair that in cases where neither the man nor the woman wants to continue a pregnancy, only the woman has to undergo a medical proceedure (or even when they want to carry to term for that matter)? Its the second set of support owed to the child we are talking about. Guy Friday Scan this QR code to download the app now. So deal with that. Give him another chance. The entire letter reeked of entitlement. And the fact is, biology dictates that women have control once a pregnancy has occurred- not just the legal system. This woman might very well be lying. John Rohan My Ex Had A Baby With Someone Else And Wants Me Back No one has a condom, Lady says Its cool, Im on the pill and Dude says awesome, I already took my Viagra anyway, cant really run to the store. They bone. Yea, it does sound even more ridiculous today. April 10, 2012, 10:28 am. Im not sure why you think this woman is trying to trap your boyfriend unless there are other details you didnt provide. I feel like a part of me has died . We have been able to shield the kids from this at this point. I know plenty of women who are exemplary parents. It was one of those comments that deserved the opportunity to be liked twice anyway. Is it the fact that he wants something different from what she does that makes him scum? Just because shes decided to not have an abortion because your boyfriend cant stand her and doesnt want anything to do with her or the innocent child, who, like it or not, he helped create, doesnt mean shes trying to trap him or that shes a scroat. Its not fair to create a child and then abandon it. No, he could be furious at the legal system that compelled it or at the woman (who, by the way, was equally culpable in the creation) who opts to continue with a child only she wants. Or until we decide to start a family.. 1. You are arguing for NO abortion in cases of rape.. Addie Pray Unless youve been there, you dont know. You have no idea what youre talking about, with regard to child support. Wow, youre a real piece of work, arent you. reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): A However, I realize thats a pipe dream. This is a process and it's got a lot of risks. You clearly didnt comprehend what you were reading very well. Its not some big secret that women have that option and that men are legally obligated to provide financially if she exercises that option. Great, yet another fine example of the sheer brilliance and intellect of more and more heterosexuals in this case, the male whom increasingly seem to have all the knowledge and intellect as to where babies come from as, say, your average comatose five year old. bittergaymark reader, Laura1318+, writes (25 January 2008): A Sleeping without protection with someone who you knew for two minutes ? personally i think this is a confusing, gray area that Im not sure I know the answer to. April 9, 2012, 12:52 pm. Cant say Id give one to a stranger but intercourse with a stranger isnt my cup of tea either. It;s an even bigger dickish move, dare I say cuntish move to fucking LIE about being on the pill to get knocked up Or maybe shes just a fucking idiot and cant figure out how to follow the directions on a prescription bottle. She got pregnant. Because of my family not being to fond of him we broke it off and i was depressed for along time. Oh, really? That would be the end of any sort of relationship sex. Thats why in rear-end situations, the second driver is liable, right? If he wore a condom and if she was on the pill, hes an idiot because what? Steve Kellmeyer This dude barebacked some girl, knocked her up, demanded she abort, and then said he wouldnt take responsibility for his child. 2. Probably a creationist, from what you know about biological science. She came first. The outlet revealed that Tristan's third child, a baby boy, is due on December 3 . I just feel that they are, at times, the least bad solution. We still cant quite manage partheogenesis or budding. Adoption is a completely different matter. So what? Youre right, it could be unenforceable. April 10, 2012, 6:37 pm. Honestly, I see unfairness in the current system too, but I dont see how you could look out for the best interests of children while simultaneously making everything 100% fair for both mother and father. The guy and the woman had sex. female The 5 Top Giveaway Signs Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship - Vixen Daily Cried my eyeballs out evry nite. He should get a damn vasectomy. Oops this was meant as a reply to Steve up there! Therefore, move on. well, then Id run screaming the other way. She may have just dumped his ass and now he wants to temporarily get back with LW and knows what to say. Would be nice if they could because there were many nights when I was pregnant where my husband could have had our babies lay on his bladder instead of mine. WTF!!! Now its your turn to sit in her chair, Dr. Sherry,My fianc cheated, we broke up but then got back together. A mans legal obligation to support his children is not some well hidden secret and nowhere is it mentioned that hes being asked for anything more. I do think he has a legal and monetary one, which he has stepped up to. However, my father got primary physical placement, and my mother got 4 hours of visitation a week, and THAT is what dictated child support (or would have if she could have afforded to pay it).